Distractions

The other day i came across an article which talked about virgin men being far more creative than those who have constant sex.  The article commented on individuals such as Densha Otoko and the 40-year old virgin as being far more interesting and lovable characters as opposed to those shimmering jock types who become flat and stereotypical.

I started thinking about my own life in contrast to these separate character types.  Back in my virgin days, i was rather in touch with my own self being and had a knack for the psychology of situations and relations.  Though, i wasn't exactly happy with myself nor acute to social situations.  Online, i would talk with people for hours about them and about myself.  I find it fascinating how much involved conversation was when looking at past logs.

As time progressed i had slowly began to break from this depressive state, and someone came along to change all that.  It seems like when you're depressed that's all you can really think about.  Once you break free from that depression, and you create beautiful positive memories, you lose your memories of depression.  Why would you want to hold on to such memories anyways if they caused you such 'pain'?

Interestingly enough, I believe those memories are the key to humanity.  Through termoil and self-loathing you can understand your own humanity and share that with others and understand them on a mutual level.  Since i broke free of that depression, i slowly lost these thoughts..  I was in the grasp of happiness.  pfft..  i didn't care.  I didn't care to understand anyone else, because i had found one person to understand.

Anyways...  One or two relationships later, i'm certainly not the human i was in the beginning.  That space in my head that was once used to connect to people in a deep way has been replaced with the connection i've had with singular individuals.  My process of communication had changed from a broad category to a very narrow one, focusing on individual connections.

That is why those stereotypical 'popular' people become so flat and unoriginal.  They really only communicate within their friend-base.  They aren't so desperate for friends that their brain is wide open to anyone.  They are happy with themselves, so whatever friends come their way is in their destiny.  You don't really care about other people as much as you used to, so you really don't really remember so much of the details.

This mindset destroys the lovable geeky type persona.  Once your lovable geeky type person gets the girl and becomes happy, fates change.  Your social construct becomes the mindset of the jock type and times occasionally come up where you don't really care to be the nice guy.  You find information about people you don't really care about useless and annoying.  This attitude poisons your mind and shapes internal relationships rather quickly.




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